I’m sure he edited. I’d like to know his process. His final published versions are lean. I wonder how the earlier drafts looked. Did it start out that way? Or did he strip it down?
I’m sure there are lessons to be learned from the maestro.
I don't remember how many times I used "as if" or "like" in Pallas but I deleted a whole ton of them. In another book it was "went" ... there's always a crutch word or two, and they add up!
I use all of the weasel words and I’ve always felt the advice about “show and tell” was for the especially gullible. It all comes down to what you want a sentence to do. At the top of the list is tone, the writer’s message to the reader about how he’s feeling about what he saying. Tolstoy is one example. Tone is also the most significant point of contact between the reader and the writer. Readers commonly talk about “relating to the characters” as their principal reason for reading, yet fail to understand that the principal character is the author himself choosing how the story is told, and how the reader should feel about the characters. Another reason for the usefulness of small words is how they affect the dramatic timing of a sentence, often slowing it down so that comprehension and revelation are paired in an interesting way. Lastly, a sentence is a rhythmic unit. Of course, you can build a style solely out of nouns and verbs, but then, that is the cage you’ll be living in for a long time, and every effect you attempt will be made with that palette.
We all use all these words, and we should. They’re perfectly good words in their place. If you scroll through my list, you’ll see that I only went to zero in a few instances. If the writer is in command of what he’s doing, he can use misspellings, repetitiveness, bad grammar, anything, if it’s how he tells the story, or shows us the character, or whatever he’s trying to do. And you can certainly use adverbs, which should not be treated as pariahs! But if you use the word “actually” twice per page for the entire document, it’s thoughtless, and you’re wasting a perfectly good word. “Actually” should be distinguishing something that is apparently something else and saying what it really is. It has its place. Used in its place, it can be exactly the right word. Used as verbal filler it’s an impediment, surplusage, a hazard to navigation!
We all need to save this as a separate document for frequent reference. These are gems and I will forget most of them if I have to trust my memory of your “hugely” helpful piece.
Editing my stuff for Substack made me realize I'm addicted to the words "actually," "quite," and "just." I still like those words, but I also remove quite (ahhh!) a few when editing. The fact that you removed many, but not all, of your weasel words makes me believe you actually (AHHH!!!) know what you're doing.
The point isn’t to get to zero on these words. The point is to use them appropriately, and not overuse them as filler. Every word in the English language has its place.
As I said, when you see a weasel word, you don’t just strike it out, you reread the sentence. Is it better without it? If so, take it out. Can it be said in a better way? If so, rewrite it. Is it just right the way it is? If so, leave it.
I just read the word "quizzica" in the same tone one might say "huzzah!"
I remember a writer's workshop years ago, when I was first starting out, someone's piece used the word "fucking" excessively and another writer told her, everytime you write "fucking," I read it as "really," and imagine your piece with all those "reallys." I never forgot that advice.
Great article. I came across the concept of “weasel words” a few years ago. This is a great reminder as the problem with weasels is that they are quite wily!
It’s funny how you don’t notice these as you’re writing. I am hoping now that I have been sensitized to it that the rest of the draft will have fewer of these and require less editing. I’ll report on that when it happens.
I did this all the time with my YA books. A whole draft searching and deleting various words. "Just" was a word that would appear 10 times on one page. Overall, I don't mind having a few "crutch words" that I overuse. But just deleting half of them does change the whole page sometimes. And it's true when you delete one weasel word, you often see other bad constructions around it. Anyway, good stuff. I look forward to your epic novel!
This is fantastic. They are right out in the open & I know that I do this. I’ll be doing my own search & destroy asap…
I realise now that I often tend to repeat the same idea twice in my essays (for emphasis of course) but using two different adjectives & I think this is weasel word adjacent & worth rethinking as well. Thank you!
The Tao of Hemingway.
I’m sure he edited. I’d like to know his process. His final published versions are lean. I wonder how the earlier drafts looked. Did it start out that way? Or did he strip it down?
I’m sure there are lessons to be learned from the maestro.
I don't remember how many times I used "as if" or "like" in Pallas but I deleted a whole ton of them. In another book it was "went" ... there's always a crutch word or two, and they add up!
I better go looking for “as if”!
I use all of the weasel words and I’ve always felt the advice about “show and tell” was for the especially gullible. It all comes down to what you want a sentence to do. At the top of the list is tone, the writer’s message to the reader about how he’s feeling about what he saying. Tolstoy is one example. Tone is also the most significant point of contact between the reader and the writer. Readers commonly talk about “relating to the characters” as their principal reason for reading, yet fail to understand that the principal character is the author himself choosing how the story is told, and how the reader should feel about the characters. Another reason for the usefulness of small words is how they affect the dramatic timing of a sentence, often slowing it down so that comprehension and revelation are paired in an interesting way. Lastly, a sentence is a rhythmic unit. Of course, you can build a style solely out of nouns and verbs, but then, that is the cage you’ll be living in for a long time, and every effect you attempt will be made with that palette.
We all use all these words, and we should. They’re perfectly good words in their place. If you scroll through my list, you’ll see that I only went to zero in a few instances. If the writer is in command of what he’s doing, he can use misspellings, repetitiveness, bad grammar, anything, if it’s how he tells the story, or shows us the character, or whatever he’s trying to do. And you can certainly use adverbs, which should not be treated as pariahs! But if you use the word “actually” twice per page for the entire document, it’s thoughtless, and you’re wasting a perfectly good word. “Actually” should be distinguishing something that is apparently something else and saying what it really is. It has its place. Used in its place, it can be exactly the right word. Used as verbal filler it’s an impediment, surplusage, a hazard to navigation!
We all need to save this as a separate document for frequent reference. These are gems and I will forget most of them if I have to trust my memory of your “hugely” helpful piece.
Dave, it’s a good list!
Worth saving!
?
?
Editing my stuff for Substack made me realize I'm addicted to the words "actually," "quite," and "just." I still like those words, but I also remove quite (ahhh!) a few when editing. The fact that you removed many, but not all, of your weasel words makes me believe you actually (AHHH!!!) know what you're doing.
The point isn’t to get to zero on these words. The point is to use them appropriately, and not overuse them as filler. Every word in the English language has its place.
As I said, when you see a weasel word, you don’t just strike it out, you reread the sentence. Is it better without it? If so, take it out. Can it be said in a better way? If so, rewrite it. Is it just right the way it is? If so, leave it.
I just read the word "quizzica" in the same tone one might say "huzzah!"
I remember a writer's workshop years ago, when I was first starting out, someone's piece used the word "fucking" excessively and another writer told her, everytime you write "fucking," I read it as "really," and imagine your piece with all those "reallys." I never forgot that advice.
That way it picks up “quizzical” and “quizzically.”
But if you want to shout “quizzica!” People will probably look at you quizzically!
It’s on my bucket list! I think I can make it catch on in Philly, where bar trivia is called “quizzo.”
Great article. I came across the concept of “weasel words” a few years ago. This is a great reminder as the problem with weasels is that they are quite wily!
It’s funny how you don’t notice these as you’re writing. I am hoping now that I have been sensitized to it that the rest of the draft will have fewer of these and require less editing. I’ll report on that when it happens.
Some of the best (and easily implementable) writing advice I've read in a long time! Bravo Contarini!
I've been writing a serial with a weasel-humanoid hybrid protagonist, so this article is timely. I appreciate your contributions to this platform.
I did this all the time with my YA books. A whole draft searching and deleting various words. "Just" was a word that would appear 10 times on one page. Overall, I don't mind having a few "crutch words" that I overuse. But just deleting half of them does change the whole page sometimes. And it's true when you delete one weasel word, you often see other bad constructions around it. Anyway, good stuff. I look forward to your epic novel!
Just: 408/165
I had to clean out a lot of those, too!
I don’t take writing advice from anybody who uses the construction “more unique” (the other guy, not you).
This is fantastic. They are right out in the open & I know that I do this. I’ll be doing my own search & destroy asap…
I realise now that I often tend to repeat the same idea twice in my essays (for emphasis of course) but using two different adjectives & I think this is weasel word adjacent & worth rethinking as well. Thank you!
Sacred to apply this but spring cleaning must have its way!!
I think “sacred” is a typo — But it still works!
Yes haha it was!
begone, weaselwords!
I have used ‘actually’ once to my knowledge. Let me check!